I wish I could say I was more excited to be in Italy, but for some reason I'm just not. I know a lot of people would kill to be where I am now, and a lot of people will never have this opportunity; I never thought I would have this opportunity. But for some reason, especially today, I've just been sad. Today I missed home a lot. It's not something I ever expect to really happen, my family has never been especially close and I didn't actually get to know my dad until about a year ago (my mom and dad got divorced right before my 6th Birthday, and I didn't see him again until right before my 21st birthday), but I just want to go home. Today I seriously considered changing my plane ticket, but I talked myself out of it. I know this feeling will pass, or I certainly hope it does. I think it would be different if I were out meeting people, or trying to have a good time...but I don't want to really do that either. It's a weird emotion. I've never really liked people, and I'm constantly being shown that you can't really trust people, yet, today I felt more alone than I ever have. My goal of this journey is to become fluent in Italian and that's what I keep reminding myself. No matter how miserable I may be here, I have to do that, or coming here and spending all of the money I have will essentially be in vain. I spent most of the day today reading the dictionary I bought. I seriously regret not bring my Italian textbook with me. I need to ask my parents if they can mail it, or see if one of the students who is only staying a month happened to bring theirs.
I had a fairly good weekend, nothing too exciting but I did get out of the house finally. I'm not sure if I should be saddened by the fact that I enjoy hanging out with the older people in the group than the younger ones. I don't know, my partying days have passed (as sad as I am to say that) and I just don't see the appeal in going out and getting drunk every night....but sitting home alone isn't very fun either. I think I will find the balance soon, because I can't handle another day like today.
On Sunday we had a little "family" dinner and it was really nice. Most of the group got together and we just ate together, and the food was actually really good. Who knew I was around a bunch of people who could cook? You learn new things about people everyday.
Hopefully this week will get better. On Friday, my professor and his wife are taking the students who want to go on a trip to Firenze (Florence) to see the museums and to see the city. I'm excited to see it. In Siena, my professor's wife brought a whole new aspect to all of the art (she has her degree in Art History), so I'm excited to see what this trip brings. Then on Sunday I am going to Cinque Terre, but I think most of the other students are planning a trip to Venice. I plan on waiting to see Venice until later in the year, and it is cheaper to go from Milan. So, this weekend should be a good one.
I'm going to try to update this more often, and to document my experiences more. I feel like I have a really boring life here, but I think it will be interesting to look back and have everything documented...a lot more than once a month anyway. Apparently I have an assignment to keep a journal, but I don't actually know too much about it. I've had to miss a lot of my class meetings due to having class when my professor has them. and I haven't heard from him about any assignments yet.
Until next time.
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